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By Michael Scott Monje

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Clay Dillon is neuroqueer, and he must make peace with it. After thirty years, he eventually is aware the reality: that he's and continuously has been autistic, and that the majority of his difficulties getting alongside got here from a scarcity of wisdom of himself a scarcity that got here no longer from being autistic, yet from having no wisdom of the distance among what he knew of his personal wishes and what others anticipated them to be. this is often altering, although, and the switch brings a freedom that's instantly nice and bad. It gives you him solutions, however it additionally alters his methods of perceiving himself. emotions that have been disregarded at puberty are dashing to the leading edge of his perceptions, and Clay is commencing to query what his wants are, or even who he's, as his international shifts round him.

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Noahleen’s question sounded innocent, but Clay knew if he looked at her, there would be mischief in the corners of her eyes. He sneered because he knew it would make her laugh. “You hold me down and have your way with me all the time. ” She snorted. “When was the last time I made you do things my way—I mean really made you? ” “Hmmm…” Clay paused until the space between them tightened and took on the thickness of silk rope. “How about every time your parents call and invite us to a party that’s happening the next day?

It felt like one of his ribs was going to crack. “There. Like that. Now try to fight me off. ” She giggled. ” She slapped him. Not hard, but she slapped him. ” He did. He popped his hips and tried to snap himself upright, but she pushed down on his chest until he could not draw a breath. After a few seconds, black spots appeared at the corners of his vision, and Clay found himself lacking the strength to try to unseat her again. She slipped off him and padded around to the other side of the bed.

A starting point for finding other people like yourself, reading what they’ve written, benefitting from their experience, joining with them in communities of mutual support. A starting point for the task of discovering what you really need in order to have a better life, a life that fits you, a life in which some things, sometimes, can finally be right. At the same time, it’s a bit of a shock. ” The radical shift in self-perception that comes from discovering in adulthood that one is autistic can be profoundly disorienting.

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